Top Ten Things Alpha-males would NEVER do

I don’t know about you but I love rough and ready heroes who stomp through the pages of romance novels with dominance and confidence, yet fall to pieces from the softest touch of their woman. Notice I said “their” woman…deep down we like the possessive streak in them too. When I think of strong alpha-males from recent books I’ve read, Wrath and Rhage from the Black Dagger Brotherhood come to mind. They’re courageous and strong, would stand up for their woman under any circumstance and would never, ever think of living without her.

Got the picture yet?

Good. For Top Ten Tuesday this week, I’m flipping things around and shaking things up. I give you “Top Ten Things Alpha-males would NEVER do.”

10-Make you pay for a date. Can you imagine reading about a lovable hero who kept “leaving his wallet at home”? Not too hot.

9-Wear a Hawaiian shirt. Okay, unless you’re in Hawaii or at a luau themed birthday party for your Great Uncle Harry, this is beyond unacceptable.

8-Wear socks with sandals. I’m sorry, I just can’t take a man seriously when he’s confused about the weather feet level. If the weather is warm enough to wear sandals, do it and leave the socks at home. Period.

7-Carry a murse. Oh, Lord. Man purses? Really? How much stuff does a hero need to carry? ID? Credit card? Protection? Those things can fit in a leather wallet just fine. The jury is still out on messenger bags. I think those are situationally all right…like if you’re a teacher or lawyer and need to transport papers, files and binders, I suppose the rules could bend a little. But on a regular basis? Not so much.

6-Fake curse. I want you to imagine Jack T. Colton from Romancing the Stone. I want you to remember the scene where he comes down the mountain, shooting the creepy man in the tailored white Columbian suit. When he peeks beneath the underbelly of the bus and sees his woman in distress what does he say? “Darn it, are you okay? Shoot, he tore apart my birdcages.” Nope. He lets his temper flare saying all kinds of bleepage I can’t mention here. Atta boy.

5-Plays air guitar. The image that comes to mind is going on an awesome date with a self-proclaimed alpha-male, going back to his place, ready to be romanced like only alpha-males know how. As he turns on some mood music, Queen blares from the speaks and he rocks out like he would in private–busting out his sex face and all. That’s when I hit the door.

4-Overly aggressive or obsessive sports fanatic. This one’s tricky for me. I LOVE sports, especially football. But if he’s one of the guys with season tickets, tailgating after every game, glued to the Draft every season, screaming obscenities at other fans, there’s just something missing. And I think I know what it is…if he’s showing that much attention to a sport, how much attention is left for his woman? I’m betting not much…unless she’s an off-season gal.

3-Wear jorts or japris. For the fashion naive, jorts are jean shorts and japris are jean capris. Unless your hero finds himself in Regency Scotland, pants and shorts should remain at their appropriate lengths in the right fabric.

2-Be abusive to his woman. I know this one is of a much more serious nature than the others, but I couldn’t leave it off the list! I don’t care which type of abuse, no woman should be treated like they’re unworthy.

And the number one thing an alpha-male would NEVER do…

1-Give up…on anything. Most of all, he would never give up on his woman or their love. Remember Jack from Titanic? That’s the kind of love women are looking for. Love that transcends race, status and time. A love that holds on when there seems like there’s nothing left to hold onto.

What about you? What are some things you think an alpha-male would NEVER do? Care to weigh in?


6 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Alpha-males would NEVER do

  1. LMAO! Air guitar and sex face! Too funny! I'd never heard of jorts or japris before, but I wholeheartedly agree. Those should be banned!

  2. Glad you two liked Top Ten this week! I had a good laugh writing it, that's for sure. And I totally agree–sitting in front of a game console for hours on end is not appealing to say the least. A hero should be pushing his heroine's buttons, not…*ahem…nevermind.

  3. Kristin, that was hilarious! And I'm totally intrigued about your writing. I love the paranormal romance, JR Ward being one of my favorites! I'm working on one myself right now. haha I can't make up my mind…YA or paranormal romance. So I'm doing both.

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